Hot Genius: Main Character Tips

🎤 The social confidence of a celebrity

March 12, 2024 Christina Modaffari Season 3 Episode 31
🎤 The social confidence of a celebrity
Hot Genius: Main Character Tips
More Info
Hot Genius: Main Character Tips
🎤 The social confidence of a celebrity
Mar 12, 2024 Season 3 Episode 31
Christina Modaffari

Have you ever watched a dancer flawlessly turn a stumble into a stunning spin? That's the level of social confidence we're talking about—turning our imperfections into moments of charm. 
Today I share my journey through the labyrinth of social assurance, revealing that the secret to poise isn't in perfection, but in embracing and owning our quirks. Even the most seemingly confident celebrities have their awkward moments, and guess what? So do I. Together, we'll dissect the art of maintaining confidence across various contexts and social encounters, providing you with the tools to feel self-assured whether you're the life of the party or enjoying the scene from the sidelines.

Navigating social faux pas can feel like a minefield, but what if I told you that the trick lies in the recovery? This episode is packed with anecdotes and strategies to help you bounce back with grace and even a dose of humor. From a misunderstood joke to an untimely burp, we'll discuss how to transform blunders into opportunities for connection and charisma. I'll get candid about my own slip-ups and how they've actually boosted my social confidence, and I'll guide you through creative responses that can turn the tide in your favor. It's all about rolling with the punches and coming out with your head held high.

I'm thrilled to wrap up by inviting you to keep this conversation going—your thoughts and experiences are what make this community thrive. If something from today's chat struck a chord, or if you've got your own tales of social triumphs (or trials), find me on Instagram or drop a comment on Spotify. Your feedback is the heartbeat of this show, and I can't wait to connect again next week for another insightful episode where we continue to tackle the world of social confidence with laughter, honesty, and a touch of genius.

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Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Have you ever watched a dancer flawlessly turn a stumble into a stunning spin? That's the level of social confidence we're talking about—turning our imperfections into moments of charm. 
Today I share my journey through the labyrinth of social assurance, revealing that the secret to poise isn't in perfection, but in embracing and owning our quirks. Even the most seemingly confident celebrities have their awkward moments, and guess what? So do I. Together, we'll dissect the art of maintaining confidence across various contexts and social encounters, providing you with the tools to feel self-assured whether you're the life of the party or enjoying the scene from the sidelines.

Navigating social faux pas can feel like a minefield, but what if I told you that the trick lies in the recovery? This episode is packed with anecdotes and strategies to help you bounce back with grace and even a dose of humor. From a misunderstood joke to an untimely burp, we'll discuss how to transform blunders into opportunities for connection and charisma. I'll get candid about my own slip-ups and how they've actually boosted my social confidence, and I'll guide you through creative responses that can turn the tide in your favor. It's all about rolling with the punches and coming out with your head held high.

I'm thrilled to wrap up by inviting you to keep this conversation going—your thoughts and experiences are what make this community thrive. If something from today's chat struck a chord, or if you've got your own tales of social triumphs (or trials), find me on Instagram or drop a comment on Spotify. Your feedback is the heartbeat of this show, and I can't wait to connect again next week for another insightful episode where we continue to tackle the world of social confidence with laughter, honesty, and a touch of genius.

Support the Show.

Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Hot Genius podcast. I'm your host, christina Modifari, and today's episode is all about social confidence. You know, go from being socially awkward into being the life of the party. Go through, grow from being socially anxious into being the person who doesn't shut up, the person who everyone just can't get enough of right. And so I just want to remind you that it doesn't really matter what part of the journey you're on. It doesn't matter how confident you already are or how, let's say, insecure or shy you are. This episode is going to serve you, okay, and so I just want to begin by saying that, when it comes to you already being confident and being someone who you're proud to be, then you already know that you're always looking to expand. So, even when you are good at something, you want to be better, and you know that it's not about being better so that you could love yourself more, but you want to be better simply because you value and love yourself so much that you constantly want to be and an evolved version of yourself. You want to expand as opposed to you want to complete yourself, right? So let's just begin with like understanding that mindset first. On the other hand, when it comes down to social confidence in general, I want you to know that this does not mean that you're not confident at the core of who you are, because there's different types of confidence. There's contextual confidence, which just means that when you are in a certain setting or situation, your confidence is there, but when you're in a different setting, the confidence isn't there. An example of this in real life it would be like, for example, when there's musicians, for instance, on stage, let's say, with a guitar and a microphone, they have all the confidence in the world, but let's say, when they go on a date, one-on-one of someone, that confidence dissipates. This actually is very common in actual pop stars, celebrities. If you have a look at interviews or autobiographies or memoirs of actual famous people that most people consider confident, you'll actually be surprised to learn that they're not confident in every area. They are contextually confident. They're confident at their craft in certain settings, but not in every other area of their life. But this works in reverse. This means that if you're confident in who you are in your everyday life, that doesn't always necessarily mean that it's going to translate into being socially confident.

Speaker 1:

I really wanted to begin by setting the tone here by helping you understand that, when it comes to confidence, it doesn't necessarily always spill over into each area of your life only because there's different layers to confidence itself. Take me, for instance. You get me to talk about the things that I talk about. Give me a talk about self-love, confidence, manifestation, mindset. I'll never shut up about it. I look like the most confident person on the planet.

Speaker 1:

You get me to talk about just banter. Right, like, just banter. Normally I can still do it, like I'm really funny, like that. But it can be hard sometimes if it's with a certain group of people, right? You get me in a room with I don't know Gen Z, and I might buckle. Put me in a room with millennials, and I'm fine, like, do you know what I mean? Like, they're not the specifics, I'm just giving you random examples from the top of my head.

Speaker 1:

But what I'm trying to say here is that, when it comes to confidence, I just really want you right now to recognize that it's not a black and white thing, and so social confidence can be very tricky and it does require its own skill and we're not necessarily born with every skill, but some people, depending on your upbringing, depending on your genetics. Some people will just naturally have this intuitive response to being really charismatic, into being like life of the party, to being outgoing and socially intelligent and whatever else, and then some people not, despite it being a skill. So I just really want you to see that confidence, especially social confidence at this point, is again, it's like a wave and it's a spider web. It's just, it's really intricate but it's also simple at the exact same time. And I know that's a lot sometimes for the mind to grasp, but I recommend you just really allow yourself to marinate in that, I guess, paradox and duality. So, when it comes to you being in a social setting, right, let's say you're talking and you make a mistake. I'm gonna give you all the tips, all the secrets as to how you will never feel awkward again. I'm so serious. This is gonna help up, level your confidence skills. Be that, if you're in a group setting, when you don't know the people, when you just met one person, whether you're one-on-one, whether you are facilitating a class, whether you are public speaker, whether you record podcasts, whether you're, it's gonna help you. Okay, this is such a powerful skill to have I can't even begin to describe now.

Speaker 1:

I want to share a little bit. First about like. Why me like? Why should I be speaking on this? Like, how do I know these things and All the things well, it's like? Well, first of all, obviously, I had the confidence, a social confidence, to come every single week on this show to deliver an awesome episode for you, right, and this obviously can be it's public, so anyone on the planet access the internet Can literally hear me speak. So that's number one.

Speaker 1:

Number two is that, prior to me ever getting into this work, I was actually, believe it or not, a very shy person. But if you, by any chance, knew me from when I was a teenager, even when I was in my early 20s, if you knew me personally or whatever else, then you would actually have no idea that I was a shy person. You'd have zero clue that I was shy because, when it came down to to being in social settings, I was always told that I was the life of the party, that I was a Party animal and that I was a social butterfly. And I actually remember thinking to myself what the hell are these people talking about? I have no idea why they are saying that I'm like, this social butterfly, when I'm so frickin shy, like I didn't, I couldn't put my finger on it Further to that is that?

Speaker 1:

Well, I noticed that in naturally speaking, like whatever came to me intuitively, not every social situation was equal to one another. You know, you get me into literally a party setting. When you think of a party, you think there's music, it's darker, people are more free and relaxed and they're ready to party and have a good time. People Are, you know, not in the head so much because they're probably drinking alcohol and whatever else In that setting. Oh, my goodness, like I am, no matter how nervous I am, like I'm not nervous, so that makes sense.

Speaker 1:

My confidence, that is like my ultimate levels of safe, safety and comfort zone. Like, put me in any party, any club with some music, some, you know, dim lights and people had in time in the life and I'm your girl, right. But then you put me into, let's say, bottomless brick, bottomless brunch, right At 12 pm On a Saturday morning. Good luck, I am not speaking to you, get out of my way, right, and not always, that's not always true, but I mean, I am joking but I'm also serious, meaning that, depending, like if I really wanted to, I can be socially confident because I have the skills, but it takes extra force and effort for me to to actually enjoy the social confidence, so to speak, in the context and setting of a Bottomless brunch, saturday morning or early afternoon, as opposed to Saturday night in a nightclub. That's dark, with music and there's less social interaction and it's like 8 9 pm. Do you know what I mean? It is different and I want you to be okay with Understanding that.

Speaker 1:

Everyone is going to be a bit more easily confident in certain settings than the other. There's no right or wrong, there's no better or worse. It's just about you and your personality profile. Right, I'm from my personality profile because, being neuro diverse, or I'm autistic, I have ADHD I've got a lot of sensory issues, right.

Speaker 1:

So during Saturday morning, slash early afternoons at bottomless brunch on a sat day, you know, like I said, early morning, where there's frickin bright lights everywhere and everyone's still sort of like you know Whatever they are, on a Saturday morning, there's too many sensory things happening. That's too bright, it's too loud and not in a good way. There's probably not much music going on, it's just. It's just too many sensory issues for me. So naturally, my confidence levels are gonna go down, it's gonna utilize and require much more energy from my battery, so to speak, to actually be able to be the life of the party in that context once again, as opposed to being in, like, say, a Party or a nightclub at night, because at night the lights are dimmer, so sensory issues are better and the music really calms me and gives me it's. It's like a dopamine hit going on on non. So my focus is better, right, and if you have ADHD, you'll definitely relate to you know, music calming you down.

Speaker 1:

And so you can see that not everyone has the same playing field, even though we're all human. And it's not even about Whether you have a neuro diverse, whether you're dyslexic or your your Autistic or not. It has nothing to do with that. I'm just using them as examples. This can also apply to you if you just simply have anxiety, or if you simply just didn't sleep the night before, or maybe you've been working Seven days straight.

Speaker 1:

There's so many different factors that are going on and that, and if we can start to understand the nuances of social confidence, that awareness in itself is Actually enough for you to already transform your confidence, and we have not even gotten to the good part yet, and so here's the extra juicy part. But I wanted to get really clear with you by sharing why me, why am I telling you this? Why is this useful? How's this gonna apply to you and where can you see yourself in me? Right, because I am a big believer that really upgrading who we are and expanding as individuals lies in not finding where we are separate from one another, but how we can truly connect and relate to one another, no matter how different and unique we actually are. Because from this place of connection, you are actually displaying self love and love unto others, and from this space, your confidence is going to be a more charged battery. And I'm right now.

Speaker 1:

This beginning of this episode so far is actually about you getting your confidence batteries actually accurate to where they are already, because it's not just about the knowledge that you learn, it's actually about how you are experiencing the knowledge that you learn. And so in all of my work, be that in my free content, whether you're my client, whether you're in my programs, I am less about just throwing information at you and I am more about you actually getting a result, you getting a sustainable transformation. That's what we are here for and the way that we can do that is like what I just said it's actually having awareness of what you already have Before we start adding more things. We want to actually see the magic you already have. It's equivalent to you actually being a diamond, because you are a diamond but because you've just sort of never thought to polish yourself, so to speak, you think that you are a dirty rock. I want you to see the diamond that you already are and then from this place, we can just add things. And adding things in this analogy would actually be represented as you just polishing yourself as a diamond, because you already have all of that in you. So, without further ado, let's get into the actual skill of this all. So I want to share how this actually began.

Speaker 1:

So I was 11 years old when I first started hip hop dance classes. Right, and little did my hip hop teacher know that what she was going to share with us during this dance class, in the context of dance, was going to change this little girl's life forever, in every area of her life. And this is what she said. She said that when you dance, there are no mistakes, because when you do make a mistake in your choreography, you got to make it a part of your performance. When you make the mistake and then you buckle, that is when it is a mistake. But when you make the mistake and you ride with it like a wave and you make it a part of the performance, you make it a part of your art. It's no longer a mistake Once again, it becomes your art, becomes part of the show. And when she taught me this, my whole mindset changed and it's never left me. I was 11 years old and I will never forget this.

Speaker 1:

She then began to show this beautiful, beautiful perspective through an example of her making a mistake in the choreography that we were about to learn, and then she showed us the two differences. So the first time she did the choreography and she made the wrong move, she went the wrong way and she buckled and she showed us did that look like a good performance and we're like no? And then she went and did the same mistake. But this time, instead of her making the mistake and then buckling and then getting really embarrassed, she made the mistake and ran with it and corrected herself back into the choreography and if you're watching this live on Instagram, I actually just did a demonstration, and when she asked us did you see a difference? We're like oh my God. The second time we didn't even notice that the chorea was wrong. It just looked like you were just adding your own flavor. It looked amazing, and from that moment on, I decided to live my life that way in my social life.

Speaker 1:

And so what this looked like in my social life was that if I made a awkward comment or I said something that was quote unquote, weird, instead of buckling and getting embarrassed, I make it a part of my performance, so to speak. I just joked it off, I laughed at myself, I made it a thing. I didn't apologize for it. Now, don't get me wrong. I definitely had moments where my insecurities got the better of me and I didn't do these things. But what I'm saying is that for the most part, for the most part, that's how I've chosen to live my life.

Speaker 1:

That is the general standard for where I want to be as a person, and I use it all the time, and this is a really good way to not just give you social confidence and make you the life of the party. This is going to help you with ending your perfectionism trauma. It's going to stop you from needing to be perfect and buckle and feel like you don't know what to say in social situations, or whether you are a content creator, a public speaker or you simply are a teacher. It doesn't really matter. It doesn't matter the context of what you're using your social confidence for. Please just know that this can be applied in every single setting.

Speaker 1:

And this can go even further into understanding that in life, you're not supposed to make shit perfect, that the whole point of it is what you do with the mistakes that you make. Because, just like when you dance and you make the wrong quote, unquote, wrong move, you have two options you either freak out, buckle and you feel embarrassed and you are the one who called that, you chose that or you make it a part of the performance. Now, if you are a performer, be that a singer or a dancer or a gymnastic person I forgot the word for that you would already know this. You already know that this is the rule number one of how to be a professional performer Is that youahi, you never, ever are embarrassed of the mistakes you make. You know we're also taught that if you know, let's say, your fricking briar strap comes down, don't fix it, leave it there, make it a part of your performance, right? This is real shit.

Speaker 1:

You even watch celebrities like Beyonce or Britney Spears, whatever. You probably won't ever realize they made a mistake and if they did ever make a mistake, they actually conduct themselves the way that we are talking about conducting yourself in social situations. They do that on stage and even when, once again, people do notice they, they didn't make a mistake or something went wrong, so to speak, and they held themselves well. Every single person respects them. Every single person, or every, but most people respect the way they carried themselves. They'll say things like, wow, like they handled that. You know, I don't know, nipple sleep or that mistake or that wrong move, whatever else. I'm with so much grace and poise, like it's, like it just didn't bother them. Wow, look at that confidence. It is no different when it comes to social confidence and it's no different when we're speaking, you know, and just to give you some more examples.

Speaker 1:

So I was just editing my Sim Academy course program, right, and that stands for self image mastery academy and I was having a look and I was looking at the beginning, the opening, and I'm actually wearing like these pink glasses, like so extra low, and I took them off because they just looked so impractical and. But I looked really cool, right, and I in the in the first training, right, I had the choice of actually ending that training and starting from scratch, and that way, no one could see that I just put on random glasses and had a laugh about it. Instead, I kept it and I made it a part of the actual lesson. I what I did was is that I had the glasses and I was like acting really funny and silly, I was like playing around with them, and then I just took them off and made it a part of the thing. I'm like, well, this is very impractical and I dropped it back on the table and I'm like, well, this is as long as I could last, let's get on with it anyway. And I would comment on the thing and I just make it a part of the lesson.

Speaker 1:

And so you know, self image mastery academy is about mastering and creating a transformation in the smallest amount of time in your self love and body image, confidence, right. What better way to teach that than to be that? So I was like this is so good, this is so good, like I'm actually not just preaching this stuff. I have this opportunity to utilize my imperfections as a motherfucking gift, right, and so that in itself is so special. And so I think that it's really magical to be able to utilize these modalities, these skills, these I guess tips when it comes down to how we conduct ourselves socially, you know.

Speaker 1:

And the more that we are able to realize that that cliche that we constantly hear about of like you're perfect because you have imperfections, like the beauty is in the floors when you stop just bagging it and going, oh my God, that's so cliche, and start realizing that this is real. There's a reason why that it's a cliche. It's because it's true, because your flaws is the best part of you, but it only becomes the worst part of you when you buckle, when you actually judge yourself, when you start letting it stop you. But when you make it a part of the show, so to speak, then it really is the best part of you. You do realize that is the one reason why AI will never take over, because AI is perfect, right, ai is perfect.

Speaker 1:

And that's fucking boring. Ew, like, I do not want AI art in my house. Yeah, what is the point of that? Okay, I want life. I want to see something that could have been a flaw turn into beauty. That's what I want to see, that's what I would pay thousands of dollars for, and this is the value and you understanding that it is all about what meaning you put to the things in your life.

Speaker 1:

You can make your flaws the worst things about you, or you can make them the best, and that's why my ultimate way of teaching self love isn't to necessarily change who you are, isn't to even improve who you are, but it's to improve your ability to see who you are. It's how you use what you are, and there's only one exception to that the only parts of you that you should ever change are the parts of you that are not serving you, are the parts of you that are harming you or another person, the parts of you that aren't really you, that are simply coping mechanisms. Those things go for it. Change it, please change it. Let's change it.

Speaker 1:

But can you love yourself in the process of you changing that? Can you still love yourself in all phases of your evolution? Or do you have to be your higher self or the best version of yourself before you realize that you are lovable, that you are the life of the party, that you are enough, and that big question. That answer to that big question is the only determinant of whether someone loves themselves or not and whether someone truly sees their greatness. It is not someone becoming perfect. That is not true.

Speaker 1:

And if you can use this skill of making all your mistakes as a part of the performance, watch what changes. You stop being afraid of your mistakes and your quirks and your anything, anything that you once didn't like, because now you're actually excited to make it a game, to see how you can get creative and turning that into a part of your conversation, because people fall in love with that part of us not the perfect stuff, it's really not that People do not want that. So why would you sit there and waste your time trying to be perfect when no one even likes that? No one can connect to that and it's just not magnetic and it's not attractive. What's attractive is someone owning all of who they are, not trying to be better than what they are. And once this fear of making mistakes dissipates, well, your social anxiety will naturally decrease over time, and this skill takes some practice. I still am strengthening this skill and the more that you can start embracing what you got using what you have as opposed to trying to get rid of it and hide it, the more your social confidence is going to flourish.

Speaker 1:

And in a social situation, let's say that you said something that was like a word vomit. Do you know what I mean? I just want to give you some actual, tangible, practical responses that you could use to kind of do the things that we're talking about. So I want to give you some, now, practical tips and prompts in how to literally make your mistakes as a part of your conversation or as a part of your performance. Right, because I feel like if we have some sort of a guide, an example, it's just going to get your creativity juices flowing and, from this place, you actually get to create your own versions of this. Yeah, so here's an example.

Speaker 1:

Like, let's say, you say something that's just come out the wrong way, you can just make a joke about it and be like okay, I take that back. That's something that I only say on Saturdays and it's Tuesday today. You can just say something stupid like that, right? Or you can say something like oh, tough crowd, right, it depends on the context. If you said something that's really offensive, like for real, then you can just say that's different, own it in a different way with being accountable to the thing that you just said. It can just be like oh, I actually take that back, because when I say it out loud it's not like a fucking asshole, you know. You can say something like that. Another example could be that, like, let's say, you make a joke and it's just not funny Happens to me all the time. My good material comes out like when the sun sets Anytime before 8pm. I'm not that funny, but get me after 8pm. Oh my God, I should be a comedian. Honestly, I can't even.

Speaker 1:

But if you say something that's you thought it was going to be funny but it just turns out it wasn't, you can say something like oh, that sounded so much funnier in my head. Or you can say something like I need to actually be in the moment. So let's say, I make a really bad dad joke. Okay, so if I make a really silly joke that literally is so dumb and it's so not funny, right? You can say something like oh my God, when my dad says that joke, it's so much funnier. But I'm not a dad. You can just do that. You can just blame it on someone. You can just turn this awkward joke that you made and you can just literally say that the fact that I'm not as funny like so, no, you can say, like, the fact that a bad dad joke was funnier than what I just said makes me want to cry. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, it can be anything, it's just owning it.

Speaker 1:

The main consensus here is you don't be embarrassed about it. And when you, that's not what not to do, so that's what not to do. And what to do instead of being embarrassed about it is actually owning it. So, like I said before, if you said something that's actually really offensive and you were vomited, then you can say something like wow, hearing that out loud makes me feel like an asshole, you know. Or you could say something like I actually don't agree with that anymore. I'm going to take that back. You can just own it. Or you can say something like why did I just say that that is just not appropriate? And then make a joke out of it.

Speaker 1:

Speak to yourself in the third person, like as an example. It can be something like did I just say that out loud? Okay, christina, zero, fucking life 10. I don't know. I'm pissing myself, because these examples right now are just I'm just pulling out bad dad jokes as I speak, right, and I'm doing it right now as we go, but I'm owning it, I'm just whatever. And the more that you just own it and you share away from being embarrassed about it, the more it doesn't even matter anymore what you say, because how you're handling it itself actually is what determines your ability to be charismatic and your ability to be socially confident.

Speaker 1:

Another example is that, let's say, you accidentally burp, right, and you're really embarrassed. Whatever the way that I do this is, if I burp and I just didn't want to burp and I felt, instead of feeling embarrassed in that social setting, I just felt like, oh my god, that was in a three out of ten, that's bad form, do you know what I mean? And I just start bagging out and say I was like a shit burp, I could do better than that. And you can just do stuff like that. And I'm going to give you another example actually.

Speaker 1:

So I remember that I met up with this guy years ago and he commented on my perfume and it was the first time I think we had met up. And the thing is he obviously wouldn't know, but I'm someone who always drenches himself and makes in perfume. Sorry, I love perfume, like I just love to smell good. It's a really weird obsession of mine and so obviously, because he doesn't know any different, he would have just sort of made the assumption, to make himself feel more confident, that I'm put on that perfume for him. So this is what he said to me. He goes oh, you put a lot of perfume on just to impress me, so you smell good. He was trying to almost it was like a failed attempt to make him look like he's a sikarno or something. He was very confident when really it just sounded really weird, but the way I handled it changed the whole dynamic of it.

Speaker 1:

This is what I said back. I said oh my God, yeah, like before you came, I just like drenched myself with so much perfume and I just couldn't wait for you to smell it. And he turned around like in complete surprise, not expecting me to reply that way. He was probably expecting me to be insecure and deny it and like just be like really awkward about it and maybe say something like oh no, I didn't. Oh my God, no, I didn't put perfume on. And instead I turn around and said, oh my God, I like just I drowned and showered in perfume before he came. I had to make sure I smelled good. He laughed and he looked at me and I could see in that moment, like, how attracted he was to me.

Speaker 1:

And that wasn't even my intention. My intention was to be like I just don't care what you think. Like, in the nicest way possible, you know, like I don't care, like you're going to try to embarrass me Like, come on, I've got nothing to hide by me owning the fact that I put on so much perfume probably a little bit more than usual, obviously, but because I wasn't insecure about that, I always wear perfume, like, what's the big deal, what's the shame? And smelling good. Do you know what I mean? The shame would only be, in my opinion, of it being something that's shameful. And so, anyway, that's.

Speaker 1:

You get my point now, right? You get my point that it really is about how you handle these mistakes, these awkward moments, how you approach these things. I make every mistake as a part of my performance, right? And when you make it a part of your conversation, or part of the performance, or part of the speech or the lesson, your comments on it or whatever else. This is what makes you, you know again, a social butterfly, or the life of the party, or someone who's just really socially confident. And it doesn't even matter what cards that you would doubt with, just so we're clear, I had every, not every, but like a lot of different cards dealt against my favor, like just not in my favor. You know the odds were against me. Do you know what I mean? Like if you look at textbooks, people, you know chicks with Asperger's, like we're not known to be.

Speaker 1:

You know really socially confident, like it's not a thing, it's on a stereotype. The stereotype is actually really socially awkward and really just, you know, I don't know, just socially inept, right, and it's like, don't get me wrong, if I wanted to be, I could be like that, but that's a limited belief. And if I could just be the example, not just for you know, someone who's an Aspie, or not just someone with a certain, I guess, different, kind of brain, a neurodiverse brain, it could be for literally anybody, right? If you're just someone who was, who has social trauma, because you were really embarrassed two years ago, like when you were at your friend's party, like, and now you've lost all your confidence. I just want you to know like it is so much more powerful for you to believe that you get to choose your level of confidence and take it from someone who has literally been told by society, like for fucking real, that I'm not supposed to be socially confident. If I can do it, you can do it, but there is only one thing that could ever stand in the way of your confidence, and it's you and your mindset, your limiting beliefs. Do not let anyone ever tell you that you can't be something that you want to be. Do not let anyone make you feel bad for wanting to be confident or for wanting to simply be yourself.

Speaker 1:

All right, and don't be afraid to make mistakes socially either. I really wish someone told me that. You know, because, being someone who is really unspoken, I'm very opinionated. I have a very unique humor. Right, it's an acquired taste of humor. You know I have had my fair share of being rejected socially and being laughed at even, but despite all of that, I have found a way excuse that I've found a way to truly embrace all that I am.

Speaker 1:

Do you know what I mean? And I don't always get it perfect, but I make my mistakes a part of my show, a part of my story, because they truly are the best part. But they are only the best part if I make it the best part. And I make it the best part by not running away from it, from them, but to run toward them. Right, I run towards my flaws as much as I can, as often as I remember to, and I just want to hold you accountable so that you can go and do the same.

Speaker 1:

Okay, because the only secret sauce you need again is not so that you can change who you are, so that you can lose more weight, or so that you can, you know, put more makeup on, like whatever else. What you think is what it means to be socially confident. It's actually to run towards the things you are most insecure about and you make them your magic. All right, you do not have to leave them in your dark room and let the dust kind of pile up on that stuff. Let's bring it into the light and color it up and make it yours, because if you don't own your shit, someone else will Okay. And if you take anything away from today's episode, it's that if you do not own your shit, someone else will Okay, and that you get to make your flaws as a part of the performance, because that is the best part of you when you can do that. Okay, so I hope you enjoyed today's episode.

Speaker 1:

I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Please, if you're listening to this on Spotify, just drop a comment down in the question box below. If you are listening to this on any other podcast streaming platform, then I would love for you to leave us a review and feel free to slide in my DMs at Christina Modafari on Instagram and let me know your thoughts. I'd love to hear what you take away from this show, and especially from today's episode, and I look forward to speaking to you next week. So much love, as always. I'll see you in the next one. Bye.

Mastering Social Confidence Skills
Embracing Imperfections for Social Confidence
Owning Mistakes to Boost Confidence
Feedback and Review Request for Episode